“The biggest thing I will miss when I stop working is the banter” said a friend at the weekend. Another in our group then said “The thing I will miss the least is the banter!”
Two people; similar backgrounds, ages and views with an entirely different take on banter and what it means to them.
And that is the challenge with banter – it can mean completely different things to different people. Something that makes the working day bearable or something that grinds them down.
At Focal Point we have always said that banter can bring down the barriers within a team. It can help to gel a group of people, contribute to a shared sense of fun and even strengthen team identity. But when banter crosses a line, it puts barriers up.
The challenge for all of us is to know where that line is.
One way to gauge this is noticing or checking out when someone has been made to feel uncomfortable. “Good” banter is something that everyone is enjoying. “Bad” banter is when someone is not.
Examples of bad banter might be:
- a nickname someone does not like. Very few of us choose our own nickname. It is usually given to us by others and often linked to a physical characteristic or something we have said or done – and we might not actually want that permanent reminder. Two members of an HR team in one of our clients were dubbed Big Chris and Little Chris – on the surface of it in order to easily differentiate them. But for them, all id did was to remind them of their physical appearances, that neither was comfortable with
- a past incident that people will not let go of and is constantly referred to. It could be a mistake someone made or an embarrassing situation. One of our participants had tripped and spilt a whole jug of water over a group of colleagues, paperwork etc in a meeting and then had to endure weeks of “get your waterproofs out – here comes X” Once might be funny. More than that can feel relentless.
It is almost 10 years since we conducted our first piece of research in this area and 3 years since our follow up survey
Both told us very similar things; that we rarely take note of the impact bad banter has on individuals, our teams or our bottom line.
Our second piece of research told us that 97% of the 770 who had responded to the survey had been negatively affected by banter at some time…. this is a shockingly high number.
If you are in the 3% – lucky you! If you are in the 97% you may recognise the impact people described – making less contributions at meetings, putting fewer ideas forward – or even looking for a new job.
So how do we ensure our workplace banter is “good” banter?
- open up discussions about this in your team – what do people feel is Ok and isn’t?
- use this as a chance to create some guidelines – a team charter for example
- if you already have organisational values, link the conversations to these – clarity around what banter is Ok and what isn’t, has a direct impact on respectful working and teamwork – which are often stated values
Greater awareness of where the banter lines are should create a more respectful, inclusive working environment – preserving the fun, while increasing peoples’ confidence to share ideas, collaborate and improve your retention figures. It all adds up – or takes away.
We would love to know what you are doing to ensure the banter in your team is on the right side of the line…